Jumbled Up

I know you have a different story about your father,
I know you might hate my thinking
 because of how you think about your father,

The man that you expected so much from than what you got,
The man that your mum told you stories about over and over 
Now you see him and the stories are  true,

I want to talk about the man whose ego could
not allow him to be vulnerable in front of his family,
And you thought he was weak,
No, he didn’t want you to grow up saying 
 men are weak coz you saw him cry,
And if he cried  in front of you,
Then you would tell us how strong he was for he cried.

I want to talk about the pain of a father,
The prayer of a father,
The act of being a father,
This is not just a duty,
This is a calling,
A devotion to serving and working for people
that may reject you if they wake up feeling you are not enough,

This is a calling that I have seen,
Young men  my age
run away after impregnating their girlfriends,
If you thought your dad was worse,
Tell your current boy escort that you are pregnant,
Confusion of r and l in his job cover letter
for he wrote he works well under pleasure,

I want to talk about equality,
Treating you how I want to be treated,
Raising you better than how I was raised,
Protecting you better than anyone could protect me,
In the midst of chaos,
I want to carry the voices of silence and peace.
I want to be the second man you could run to after God,
I may not have the closest bond right now,
But I am a protector of many.

I watched you in your state of confusion,
And I protected you in the midst of chaos,
I will reach out for your hand,
For the world thinks my heart is all jumbled up,
Humanity escaped the present of life under my appearance,
But for you,
I will guard you with all my jumbled-up heart for you are loved.

 

~santana